10 Ways To Manipulate People and Get What You Want
The right look
There is a special look that will make people defer to you, acknowledge you as a strong opponent at the subconscious level. This look can be used in any dispute when you want to state that you must be taken into consideration and it is you who make decisions here.
You should look into the person’s eyes, not at their surface but as if inside them, staring into the person’s soul.
The energy pause
To get what they want, people often use the tactless question method in other people’s presence. In private you would refuse to answer without any hesitations or reply negatively, but with people around, you are puzzled and can agree or reply in order not to seem greedy, reserved, etc.
If you don’t want to fall for such a trick, you can use the method of the energy pause. You should look into the person’s eyes as if you are going to answer. They are ready to accept your answer, but you don’t reply.
You should continue looking at them, but shouldn’t say anything. They are confused and look away and here you should start talking about something else. After such an incident the person won’t try to make you answer tactless questions in somebody’s presence anymore.
The pause and encouragement
Sometimes people attempt to demand something relying exclusively on strength of their demand. In fact, the person understands that their demand is groundless and so do you.
Nevertheless, they demand something insistently and emotionally hoping that you will submit for fear of a conflict. If you support their tone or start arguing, the conflict will be unavoidable.
Instead of arguing, hold a pause and friendly encourage the person to continue the talk. Feeling your support, the person will calm down and start speaking quieter.
However, even after that keep silent, nod and encourage them to continue talking. The person will start explaining, then - justifying themselves and finally apologizing.
Protection from the look
Of course, some methods can be used not only by you and not knowingly. Sometimes people subconsciously feel how to act to get what they want and act that way.
If you notice your opponent’s stare, they might apply some method of psychological pressure on you, either on purpose or not.
Remember, you are not obliged to have a staring contest with them, accepting their rules. Look into their eyes, smile letting them know that you have noticed their stare and you don’t care and look at other objects.
Overcome your dislike
Life often makes us face unpleasant people who we have to communicate and keep good relations with.
To keep up good communication or get something from this person, you will have to actually overcome your dislike of that person. Not just put on a false smile, but fill your heart with sympathy and kindness.
How to do it if you have to face a quarrelsome awful person?
Imagine them as a little kid. If a kid behaves badly, they must be embittered, unhappy or spoiled. In any case, their environment is to blame.
In fact, this is true, so you don’t even have to lie to yourself. When you see this person as a kid, you can’t be angry with them and people always feel kindness and sympathy which disarm them.
To get what they want, many people put pressure on their employees, relatives and friends. It looks like multiple repeating of the same demands - sometimes soft, sometimes firm, sometimes insistent and emotional, sometimes discreet.
The person lets you know that you simply won’t be able to do it in a different way, they will stand their ground till the end.
What can be done about it? Calling a spade a spade helps greatly. For example, you can ask the person at once: “Are you putting pressure on me?”. As a rule, such a question puzzles the person. The ability to say your firm “no” is no less important.
The ability to say “no”
You must learn to say “no” which will help you greatly in struggling with all kinds of manipulators among whom there can be not only importunate partners but also your relatives and friends.
You must learn to say exactly this very word - “no”. Not “I don’t know”, “let’s live and see”, “I won’t be able to” but the firm “no”.
Of course, such an utter refusal is not suitable for all situations, but in some cases, it is completely necessary.
Don’t explain your refusal
This is also a great skill achieved with experience. If you refused to someone, said your firm “no”, be able to avoid explanations or excuses.
You mustn’t feel guilty for refusing without explanations. People can feel your inner spirits and if you hesitate inside, they will try to get comments from you and may even persuade you.
Again, refusals without explanations are not always good, but there are situations when they are necessary.
The position without proofs
Proving your rightfulness can sometimes play a negative role in negotiations. Rightfulness is a state which is perceived at the level of feelings. You feel you are right and other people agree with you.
If you try to prove your position with arguments, it can ruin your confidence in your rightfulness.
Imagine you make an argument and your opponent disproves it. If you make another argument then, it will mean that you agree that the first one was lame and that is losing your position and your firm belief in your own rightfulness.
State your new role
If you enter into a new role - the manager of the department, the captain of the team or some other - you need to state it immediately by emphasizing your new authority. In your new post, do something you couldn’t do in your previous one as soon as possible.
Order something, make a decision, demand an answer from your subordinates, etc. The longer your postpone entering into your new role, the more your rights can be limited in future.